Letters to Fanfiction: Doctor Who
by TimeyWimeyDetectiveinNightVale
Summary: A collection of letters from the cast of Doctor Who to Fanfiction . net, complaining about pairings, cliches, and fanfiction in general. Suggestions are very much loved.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey! Anyone who has been following me for a while knows my fanfic 'Letters to Fanfiction: Invader Zim', and how much I enjoyed doing it. So, I decided to do a DW version of it. As said in the summary, I welcome suggestions with two open hearts and one mind. :) Please enjoy, all.

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Dear Fanfiction,

Rose and I were never intimately involved with each other in the slightest! I was very fond of her, and yes, we held hands and hugged and snogged a bit sometimes, but it's mad to think I would ever take advantage of a lovely girl like that. That would be completely selfish and fully... un-Time Lord-y... Sorry, that got away from me. Undignified, that's what it would be. Yes. That.

- The (Tenth) Doctor


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Fanfiction,

What in Rassilon's name makes any of you stupid little twits think that the Doctor and I were ever, and will be in the future, so gushingly romantic around each other? That either of us want to _sleep _with the other? Good God, you idiotic humans can make me so sick sometimes.

- The Master


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Fanfiction,

What did I ever do to any of you to make me so unliked here? Honestly, what? It's not as if I were so much more boring than Rose or Donna, was it? It it because I fell for the Doctor? Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it.

- Martha Jones


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Fanfiction,

I never had a _romantic _connection with the Doctor! I'm _married. _To _Amy Pond_. And of course I'm mates with him, but I'm not... in _love_ with him. Where did you all get _that_ from?

- Rory Williams


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Fanfiction,

I'd never settle down with Rose and live a normal human life, as in actually marrying her and raising kids. What would be the use of a TARDIS, then? Just let it sit around after we bought a flat together and lived a dreadfully boring and peaceful life? She's fond of fighting evil and helping me save planets, even though her life's at stake sometimes. But I will protect her. And besides, the idea of all that domestication makes me shudder a little bit.

- The (Tenth) Doctor


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Fanfiction,

Captain Jack and I absolutely _never _had anything romantic going on between each other. He might've fancied me at some point, but never terribly. And I have no desire whatsoever to get into bed with him, _in the least. _

- The (Tenth) Doctor


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Fanfiction,

Actually, I don't really mind all these stories about the Doctor and me...

- Captain Jack Harkness


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I understand it's been forever and I apologise. I do dearly wish I could update on a regular basis... Though these are dreams that cannot be. But, here's another few for your reading pleasure. And again, I appreciate any helpful reviews.

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I'll track every single one of you to make sure your bloody rotten fingers never touch a keyboard again if you keep up with all these ridiculous stories about me and the Doctor in a so-called _romantic relationship. _I've said before he's a little slip of a barely-anything alien-thing, and let me tell you that if Spaceman makes a single move on me, so help me I'll bite those little scrawny hands of his off.

- Donna Noble


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Fanfiction,

Now I've got to say, dears, I'm quite enjoying all these... Well, I do suppose you could call them _interesting, _to say the least; little stories you've been writing about myself and my husband. Though the best ones, of course, most certainly rise about that thoroughly unexciting letter K. I really had no idea that children could be so kinky. Keep them coming, loves.

- River Song


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Fanfiction,

If you could, I'd very much appreciate banning a certain female from this website; goes by the name of River Song; is a menace with the graphic images she keeps placing in my head when she makes me read these stories. She's getting entirely too many ideas from all of you extremely naughty young people, and I've not had a peaceful night in weeks. Thank you.

- The (Eleventh) Doctor

P.S. I've had to throw all the handcuffs and other items I've tracked down in the TARDIS that almost scare me now into a supernova thanks to you humans.

P.P.S. Where does she keep getting the handcuffs, anyway? She still won't tell me...


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Fanfiction,

Doctor, sweetie, please stop the whimpering. We all know how much you really enjoy the stories written by these aforementioned extremely naughty young people. You're not fooling anyone, love, and how much you've improved your snogging is impeccable proof.

- River Song


End file.
